Christmas Shopping Galore (Cue Stuart)

[Stuart LaRoche]

Stuart lifted his eyes to Nicky as she spoke. He didn't say anything, he only watched her face until she was finished. He was about to tell her that yes, she knew about the moonshine business now, but he only told her because he felt he had to. Before today he knew he should tell her about it because now that he wasn't working at the campground he had no excuse for being out on Sundays. The opportunity presented itself in the store and so he went with it.

Fortunately for Stuart, he was prevented from telling her this, because the waiter arrived with the tea and food. He still remained silent as the man set up and began speaking when the man left. "I agree with everything you said, Nicky. I'm glad you feel that way. I do see us as being good together." He watched her place the tea leaves in a cup and pour the hot water over them. He wasn't sure where to go from here. He had plenty of other secrets he should tell her about but he didn't think this was the right time or place for them, so he lapsed into silence again as he selected Earl Grey tea and lifted the tea pot.

He felt bad for keeping secrets from Nicky, yet he didn't see any other way to operate. He had been producing moonshine for a few months now, something which was most definitely illegal. He didn't know what sort of prosecution he'd face, but Nicky was right: the authorities would definitely be harder on him than they would be on a citizen of Magical Ireland. He couldn't explain to her that it was a chance worth taking but it seemed that he didn't need to. Stuart was surprised by the fact that she didn't seem to be nearly as upset as he'd expected her to be. Unless he missed his guess, she actually seemed to be on board with the whole moonshine idea, and he realized that he should have told her long ago.

He watched Nicky's face as she spoke, wondering why on earth she would ever want anything to do with him. A redcap, the town joke, a moonshiner, and one who kept secrets from her besides.... She was right, they should be more of a united front.

She reached out and took his hand, and he smiled as she admonished him not to do anything stupid. "Don't worry, Nicky. This kind of thing has been in my family for generations. I'm being as careful as I know how." He kept his voice low and looked around to make sure no one was listening. "I know they'll be hard on me if I get caught. That's why I'm doing everything I can not to get caught."

Stuart tested the tea with his lips to see if it was too hot and took a sip. "I'm kind of surprised you're not more upset. I thought you'd be angry that I was doing this."

[Nicolette St. James]

It wasn't that Nicky wasn't upset, she was.  She was plenty angry.  Angry that he hadn't told her.  Angry he had told her at the dumbest moment on the face of the planet.  Angry that he was doing something illegal that could get him arrested.  Was she angry that it happened to be smuggling and making alcohol, no.  She wasn't angry about that.  In fact she could have cared less, however what did matter was that it was illegal and she didn't want him to get tossed into jail.

She subdued her anger however and kept herself limited in speech while she played with the tea in her cup.  Listening only faintly to him agreeing with her.  She knew she was right.  She knew they were good together.  In fact they were great together.  They were great in and out of bed, like a well crafted orchestra.  And yet, he always managed to throw some tuning fork into their beautiful harmony that made her feel completely and utterly out of whack. 

Brooding on these feeling she took a sandwich and chomped on it for a little bit, allowing him to try and wash away all the worry as if his family being smugglers was going to make her feel even better.  But then he spoke and her eyes lifted.  "Of course I'm angry Stuart.  But not at what you imagined.  I'm mad that you didn't feel you could trust me, that you couldn't tell me sooner.  Whether you felt it was to protect me or not is completely ludicrous I'm an adult I would have handled myself.  Then you tell me at a horrible time and moment, I just think you act before speaking and sometimes you don't think at all.  I mean Stu, what if I were to start going on about things that I do that could get me hurt.  What if I went back to picketing or rioting, certainly you wouldn't like that at any moment I could be arrested."

She looked back to her lap silencing herself yet again.  Like a kettle bubbling with boiling water.  "I just don't want you to get hurt, that is why I'm upset."  She said finally staring at the swirls in the cloth and not looking up at him.  This was supposed to have been a beautiful day and she felt it crashing down around her.

[Stuart LaRoche]

Stuart stared down into his teacup. He had a pretty good idea now of how badly he had botched this conversation and why Nicky was so upset with him. He couldn't blame her, really. It was interesting to him that she wasn't angry with him for producing illegal alcohol, the very thing he thought she'd be upset about, but that he had kept something hidden from her. Illegal alcohol production almost didn't factor into the equation at all. The fact that he didn't think he could trust their relationship to such stress was the real problem.

It slowly began to dawn on Stuart that Nicky was taking their relationship far more seriously than he thought she had been. Always before he just assumed she was with him as a continuation of their earlier platonic friendship, a buddy for good times in and out of bed. He never thought she'd break up with him when the good times ended -- he knew Nicky would never be that shallow -- but that she was so concerned with the desire for them to present a united front was very telling.

He also realized that he'd been so worried that she'd so easily cast aside their relationship that he'd taken to keeping a portion of his life hidden from her, rather than opening the doors and let her in completely. Stuart knew that as far as Magical Ireland was concerned, he and Nicky were not on a level playing field. He was an illegal immigrant and a muggle (although she still thought he was a squib). Were they to ever have children together they would be impure mudbloods in the eyes of the community. She had come from a well-to-do family, one which had roots in Magical Ireland for generations. He worked every day in a humble job where he used his hands; he would never be a wealthy man who could provide a bounty for his family. He was an introvert who kept secrets from those he loved. There was no reason why she should want to be with him, and he -- at least subconsciously -- felt that he had to present the best Stuart he could possibly present to her. If she knew all of his secrets she would want nothing to do with him.

He was realizing that the thing that bothered Nicky wasn't his secrets. He'd told her more than he'd told anyone else in town and she had kept his secrets well. What was really bothering her was that he was keeping them at all.

Stuart breathed in and let it out in a deep sigh as he continued to stare at his tea cup as she spoke. He felt like he'd already said enough. Every time he opened his mouth this morning he just stuck his foot further in; at this point, he'd be better off not saying anything at all, especially not out in public. Maybe when they got home they could hash this out and he could say something to smooth things over. Yeah. Fat chance. Might as well get it overwith now. At least he wouldn't have to worry about her making a scene here in the tea parlor because he'd bumbled his words again.

He reached out and took her hand in his. He still didn't look at her, and he kept his eyes fixed on their hands as he finally made an attempt to speak. "Nicky, I'm sorry for hurting you. I never wanted to do that. I never want to do that. I care too much about you -- about us -- to want to hurt you." He paused and swallowed, trying to marshall the words to tell her how much she meant to him and he found them stuck swirling around in his head, unable to come together to form a coherent sentence. "I'm going to keep running the still," he said in a low voice, nearly a whisper. "I'm making a lot of money. I'm not just thinking of me here. I'm thinking of us and our future. Alienating you because of this was never my intention at all."

[Nicolette St. James]

Where Stuart couldn't look at her Nicky stared right at him.  Looking at him, his glasses that were pointed downward, his eyes staring at her hand, while she looked at him, listening as he tried to go on and on about their relationship and his care and not wanting to hurt her.  And she believed him, yet she wished he'd man up and look at her, see her, those eyes that were so soft, she just didn't understand why he wouldn't look at her, when they were discussing something so important.

And then he continued.  Explaining he wasn't going to quit, he was going to continue what he was doing.  He was making money, for them and their future and for now.  She shrugged and returned to eating her small triangle sandwich.  "I didn't tell you to quit.  And fine, keep it going, just be careful, be safe.  More and more people are going to try what you are doing Stu, its only a matter of time and if you aren't safe, if you aren't careful you won't end up in prison, you'll end up dead in the waters somewhere."  She shivered at the thought.  "Just be safe Stu, and stop keeping secrets.  Even if you think I can't handle it, talk to me.  But not here.  Not out in the open, but just....if you really have a future for us, it won't be any sort of future if the foundation is lies and secrets."

With that Nicky took back her hand and returned to eating and drinking.  "Lets eat and get back to the house.  I promised Anne I'd help her with something and completely lost track of time."  She said shaking her head.  It was over, in her mind this situation was over.  Both of them explained, both of them were logical and both of them made it to an ending point.  There was no reason for her to remain angry as he understood why she had been angry in the first place.  There was no reason to continue beating the dead horse, it was time to move on. 

[Stuart LaRoche]

There was so much more Stuart could have told Nicky, but he held his tongue. He'd already said enough to upset her today. He felt that if he opened his mouth again he'd only make things worse.

True to form, Nicky had clearly and concisely stated her feelings about the moonshine and the fact that he'd hidden it from her, and she was ready to move on. She had said all she wanted to say and she was done, and there was clearly nothing Stuart could add. He was relieved that she wasn't angry about the moonshine. He'd been wanting to tell her about it for weeks yet he had held back, afraid that she would pitch a fit and insist that he stop. That she didn't came as quite a surprise to him.

After this conversation he'd lost his appetite. He picked up a small tuna sandwich and began eating half-heartedly, more just to have something to do than to actually feed himself. He chewed slowly and waited for Nicky to finish and stood to pay the bill. When he was done he turned to Nicky, meeting her eyes for the first time since they'd sat. Stuart held her eyes for a few seconds and offered her a sad smile before bending to pick up their packages. He liked the idea of going back to the St. James home, where he could either help Nicky and Anne with whatever they were doing or stretch out on the couch in front of a fire until they were done.

He offered Nicky his arm. "Let's go," he said.